Pearls...

Today is the graduation of Batch 2010 in Medical School - Batch Mumbaki - Cheers!

I could not help but feel gratitude and happiness for my classmates who have finally completed 4 years of medical school, including the dreaded Clinical Clerkship year. Much has happen to us, we grew up as well as learned (I hope...) and many deep experiences and friendships and love lives have been forged in the process. For someone like me, who sat on the sidelines and watched my batchmates (???) graduate, I couldn't help but also feel ambivalent about not being able to fully celebrate this moment with them. Some of these people, this may well be the last day I see them as we have no other way to go but go about our own separate lives. The past three years, I have been looking for the good reasons why I am in this place; hoping what I long for - answers - would be like pearls, oyster tears signifying something good born from something sad. Although I can never deny graces, today I feel more alone. Watching the significant people whom I have had the privilege of being friends with move into another dimension in life is like feeling a deep sense of separation anxiety.

Moreover, I am also counting the days until I am separated from the love of my life - who will be undergoing his Post graduate internship in Davao City. I would like to think that of all people in the world, we two can handle the distance. Both our parents have succeeded in that department through the years and make good role models. But, it is also certain that changes are inevitable - for our sake I hope change for our good. Distance can be both a challenge conquered resulting in a deeper commitment but it can also be detrimental to our relationship. It was good of him to leave me with me knowing of what he really feels - (After he stepped off from the stage, I noticed, he was looking for me - for me moments like these are reserved for the significant people in ones life; parents, family and those who really contributed to his success in finishing medschool, for me to be included in "his family" must be indicative of his truest feelings and intentions). It is an honor to be loved by someone, especially one whom I love as well. Hopefully, despite the challenges, we can always hang on to this foundation.