DSM Axis IV: Phase of Life Crisis

Earlier today, I got a text from dear cousin in Manila, she asked me to tell her mom to call her – she says she’s dying.

Yeh cuz, I’m telling you I can relate to that feeling. Whenever we feel confused, anxious, burnt out (no matter what the age or life stage) we call our mothers. Classic example of that are women in labor – they curse their husbands and cry out for their mothers in pain.

Like you, (needing my mom) at this point, am in a “Phase of Life Crisis.” Am going into Clerkship in a few weeks and all the anxieties and fears of being unprepared are sinking in. To top it all, it seems like fate is testing me – reminding me of my first year failure. Going back to that time, I realized how wrong I was on how I dealt with stress. I thought after college I had mastered the art of coping. I was wrong, and it got me sick with Typhoid fever. And, that maybe the greatest regret I will have to live with.

Adding to my “panic attack” at the moment is a very pervasive helplessness. It feels like this phase will the beginning of the end of my life. Sounds cliché, but from this point it feels like I’ll be making a whole lot of important decisions not only in my career but in my life as a whole. I cannot compartmentalize the issue that my boyfriend is considering going back thousands of miles away to Davao for his Post- Graduate Internship, while I, considering my own career will be staying here in Iloilo. (SHUCK! Do LDRs ever work?) My last one didn’t…

Moreover, going back to the whole clerkship thing… how can I cope with minimal sleep, minimal food, toxic patients and moody doctors?!!! Plus, do I have enough medical knowledge for the clinics? What if I screw up? I just keep telling myself:

“Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup.
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt -
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit”

These things are normal, undergone by so many people and most come out on top. Just like they all say; “It’s just part of growing up.” But, subalit, pero – Ang hirap pala!

Phase of Life Crisis (definition) this category is associated with a particular developmental pahse or some life circumstance that is NOT DUE TO A MENTAL DISORDER. Example – entering school, leaving parental control, starting a new career, and changes in marriage, divorce and retirement.