It takes so little to find inspiration to write. I have gone long months barren for words. In my world of paper and print, all in the thickness of the black and whites of books, this is what sometimes gives birth to a steam of words.
Today, our class assembled to check our test papers from our recent examination. There were a lot of buzzes regarding ambiguous questions. I came to realize how each point mattered to us medical students. It meant the difference between passing and failing. Lord knows no one in that class wanted a taste of failure and getting that one single point meant we would have to fight for it as if it were a matter of life and death.
I have failed one subject before and for a long time I was asking whether it was because I was sick with typhoid fever or because I had too many distractions. It could also have been due to my seemingly carefree attitude towards fighting for points. Anyway, this sort of pondering should be shelved for a while as I go back to the present and recall today’s account on that exam review.
There were three types of people in the classroom; the ones who passed and felt at ease with their scores who didn’t bother to contest the ambiguous questions, the one who failed who were really trying hard to fish for that longed-for bonus point and the ones who passed with flying colors who were still fishing for those bonus points.
Seeing this, I remembered what I learned in Macheavelian Ethics about Justice. It referred to Justice as “giving due to” or “being in moderation with”. In our set-up now, who were those points due to? And, how do we quantify moderation in this passionate struggle to earn points?
One of the questions really struck me. There were two answers that were found in the multiple choice item. I knew letter a and c were correct. Deep down I remembered I had memorized this and even up to that moment I could still vividly see my own handwriting showing the two answers.
Dilemma at hand; there was no one else who was asking or questioning that particular number. I was uneasy but at that time I let it go.
A few minutes later, another question came to the group’s attention. This particular question was related to the one I was having uneasiness with. One of our top ten classmates stood up and defended her answer and the bonus was awarded.
It was that easy huh? Our proctor even reinforced her saying; “Your bonus will depend on how well you defend your answers.”
Review over. I went home after a long and busy day but at one point I still couldn’t forget about that one point. I’d have to admit that my primary motivation was pride. My boyfriend always reminded me to memorize stuff and that morning he told me I should memorize some more. Yes, I believe he was right but I also knew myself and that I knew I studied pretty well that particular question and had memorized it. The bad thing though was that I memorized the notes prepare by our class instead of getting it first hand from the book.
As I went home I checked the notes again. I was right! Both answers were found in that set of notes. What was I to do? What was I to feel?
My initial reaction was…. Thank God I’m not as stupid as I was slowly trying to believe!
Then again, I remembered some philosophizing around the value of JUSTICE.
One option was to go back tomorrow and inform Doc about the correction. I’m pretty sure when she sees the notes (that the whole class also read), she start to consider my plea and most likely award that one point. I’d get the credit and maybe some unfortunate classmate would get deductions for the correction. The other option was to do nothing anyway I passed the exam (not really with flying colors but with a substantial amount to get at least a decent grade). At this point, I was thinking that there were two right things to do in the name of justice. One to submit the correction and get the point due me and second to keep quiet and let some of my classmates hold on to that one point that may have made them pass that exam cause I already had enough points to get by.
When I think of it more, in the context of learning, I should submit that correction for everyone’s information and not lie complaisant arguing that I also did myself justice because now I now that between SABA and Theophylline, SABA is the most common reliever medication for asthma even though if both are also considered reliever medications. I guess I didn’t want more suffering surrounding ambiguous test item construction.
Today the scale of balance in this one-point justice system tipped into my “martyr” side. Who knows tomorrow it might tilt to my adamant philosopher side. Yet, no matter where this balance tips, the fact still remains that Justice will still and will always serve systems. Today and for me, it’s a one-point system, tomorrow it may be traditions of a hospital or institutional system. For others, it is in the peso-luxury system and still for a greater majority it is the peso-sweat and blood system.
Food for thought as I go back into the silence of black and white book pages:
Sa libro ni Fr. Roque Ferriols, pinahahalagahan niya ang importansya ng mga systema na kailangan sa tamang pamamaraan ng pamimilosopiya (“sapagkat ang pamimilosopiya ay ginagawa…”) pero ayun sa aking pagpapahalaga sa kanyang mga salita, ang systema na ilalapat sa pamimilosopiya ay dapat nararapat. Inihambing ito sa isang lambat na ginagamit sa pangingisda, ang lambat ang sistema at ang pamimilosopiya ay ang isda. Dapat angkop ang lambat sa isda, hindi siya parang tela (na ang pagkakahabi ng sinulid ay masyadong nakakumpol) na hihigupin pati ang tubig. Hindi rin ito parang lubid na iisang sinulid lamang ang nabubuo na kung siyang gagamitin ay wala kang makukuhang isda. Kundi ang lambat ay tama lamang at angkop para sa gawaing pangingisda.
If systems are so important, sometimes to influence the difference tribulation and success, do we even bother to think of them before we apply them?
In relation to our Society:
Politicians claim systems keep order and justice. Rebels and “destabilizers” claim they go against systems. Systems, systems, systems, they are but tools to the attainment of more decency, values, a means to better end, an opportunity to be the persons we were created for…
021808
1 comments:
Remember what your manang Pat said? You are only unemployed when you are actually looking for a job. hehehe
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